Introducing tears of a tech bro™, the finest small-batch blend of shattered egos, overhyped ambitions, and free-market delusions. Lovingly harvested from plummeting Tesla stock, tanking Dogecoin investments, and the fiery aftermath of yet another "totally intentional" SpaceX explosion, this elixir is the perfect cure for unchecked hubris. Key Ingredients: only the purest sadness, regret, and shame out of silicon valley. For best use: smear it on your face for that fresh laminated look, perfect for when you’re trying to convince people your startup is totally still viable. Drop it in your smoothie for an extra pep in your step, ideal for grinding 120 hours a week until your mental health is as stable as a Twitter rebrand. Go full send with a high-pressure enema for those who really need to purge all traces of ethics, accountability, and basic human decency. Tears of a Tech Bro™ : because when your entire empire is built on hype, what’s a little more liquidity?